Change

The only constant in life is change. Seasons change, attitudes change, bodies change, climates change, culture changes, time changes. I can’t think of one thing that does not change other than God, Hebrews 13:8.

Change can happen fast or it can evolve slowly. Things we want to change seem to take a long time. Things we don’t want to change, changes quickly.  Change can be good or it can be bad. We celebrate change and we dread change.

Everything changes after a loss. Our income level, status, role, hopes, dreams and support system are just a few examples of things that change after a loss. These changes are extremely difficult. We may even fight against them.

I found it difficult entering into the job market. I was a stay at home mother and wife. I enjoyed my work as a mother, home manager, accountant, home health provider, landscaper, interior designer, educator and all the other jobs of a stay at home mom and wife. My days were filled with activity and joy. I loved making our house a home that was comfortable and loving. It was an environment of care, nurture and growth. I aspired to be like Martha Stewart.

When I entered the work force, I struggled to be a working woman and continue to aspire to be the perfect homemaker. As I moved up on the ladder, I had to let things go. I was not Super Woman, I could not do it all! I couldn’t afford to hire help either. It was hard for me to let go of my stay at home mom image. I had to change my priorities and attitude.

I learned to let go of was who I use to be. I was no longer the stay at home mother and wife. I was a widow with a son to support. I was a working woman. I struggled so much. I wanted my life to stay the same. I did not want this change. However, I did what I had to do. It took a long time for me to change my attitude about being forced into this new role.

My new role as a working woman took a toll on me. Trying to find a balance between work, home, family, friends and church was a challenge. I could not find a balance at all. Pressure came from all sides. I had a friend who did not take no for an answer. She would always guilt me into going with her to shop or help her with a church event. All I wanted to do was stay home, clean house and relax. Back then I found it easier to give in just so we could stop arguing. The emotional toll of arguing was just as exhausting. I needed to learn how to set boundaries.

Finally I had to learn how to accept change. It is the only way to move forward. Once I accepted the many changes life has brought to me, I could adjust and grow. I have learned to prioritize what is important in this new season of life. I embrace who I am now and I live a life I am creating with the help of change.

As always I welcome your feedback and questions. You can leave them in the comments below. If you like what you read let me know with a thumbs up.

Remember that you are not alone, I am here to walk along side of you.

Ethel

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