Congratulations! You have done so much work this past month! You have taken time to reflect on your life, examine it and dig out your core values. It has been an emotional time that has brought up a mixture of feelings. You kept at it and did not give up! Now what? You have all of this information you uncovered and your not sure how or what to apply to your life.
To change your negative core values you will need to challenge, eliminate or replace your beliefs. Look at your core values in each category you listed in your notebook. Now ask:
- Does your core values create the life you want? A meaningful, fulfilling life?
- Are your core values fear based? What is the fear? Is there any truth to the fear?
- Are your core values your own or a label someone placed on you?
- Are your core values based on an offense and hurt you need to let go of? Do you need to forgive someone?
- Does your negative core values have you complaining and gossiping? Is it a shared core value with the people you are around? Are there people you need to break free from to help you stop complaining and gossiping?
- Does your core values have you comparing your life with others? Do you believe you don’t measure up?
- Are your core values rooted in the past and do not reflect your present? Does it keep you bound to the past and stop you from moving forward?
Now let’s take a look at the negative core values and ways to eliminate them from your life. It is time to make an action plan. Why an action plan? Action plans give you a point of reference when you are entrenched in a situation. It allows you to review the way you want to respond and follow through. Here are a few situations to think about while creating your action plan:
- Fear based core values. Fear has a way of creeping in even after we have dealt with it. Unfortunately, you may have to deal with fear more then once. But it does not have to control you. When it enters your thoughts knock it down with the truth. List your truths that dispel that fear. Review them as often as necessary.
- Inherited of labeled core values. People judge others all the time. They see the surface of something and add a label. They don’t see below the surface before labeling you. We hear the label used to describe us so often that we begin to live it. To eliminate these core values you will need to stand in your truth. You know who and what you are. Do not let others define you or your core values. Make a list of core values that represent you. When a label comes at you, stand in your core value of who you are.
- Core values rooted in offense and hurt. Maybe your core values are defensive responses to an offense or deep seeded hurt. If this is the case then it is time to forgive and move on. Did you notice that I did not say forgive and forget? It is hard to forgive let alone forget. I believe that is why Jesus told Peter that we are to forgive 70 times 7 in Matthew 18:21. Like fear, pain creeps in even if we thought we dealt with it. We may have to forgive more then once before the hurt is healed. (Forgiveness is a gift for you not the offender. It is not letting the other off the hook, there are consequences. Forgiveness is a release of the offense so that you can move forward.)
Keep working through each area and create an action plan specific designed for that category.
Finally, in your action plan include your replacement core values and how you will achieve those. Don’t get overwhelmed if it seems like a lot to do. Next week we talk about using everything you have learned to live the life you were created to live.
As always I would love to hear from you. Leave your comments and questions below.
Remember you are not alone, I am here to walk along side of you.
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