It is Christmas Eve. The night before our Saviors birth. Many will be going to a church service. It is a joyous time. A celebration of life. You may be asking yourself how can you celebrate life when you are still grieving the death of your loved one? You may be feeling angry towards God. How could He allow this to happen? You may think that your anger towards God means you lost your faith and beliefs.
God is a merciful, gracious God. He understands your grief. In the garden of Eden, death came by persuasion, doubt, choice and disobedience. God did not want us to be separated from Him. His heart breaks and He feels deep pain when His creation dies. He knows what it feels like to be separated from His beloved creation and it angers Him. To remedy this separation, He sent His Son, our Lord and Savior, to us to teach us of His love and conquer death so that those who believe in Jesus shall have everlasting life.
God is not shocked when we are mad at Him. He is not mad at us when we ask Him why. Reconnecting to your faith and belief in God starts with prayer. Let God know how you feel; the good, the bad and the ugly. Let it all out. Then ask Him to help you during this time of grief. Ask Him to guide you and comfort you. Let His healing love bind up the brokenness of your heart. The pain will ease as you realize the love you shared with your loved one will always be within you.
Maybe you are angry with your church or family. You cannot face going to the service and hearing one more cliche like, “they are in a better place”. Most of the people offering these cliche remarks have not been through a loss of a close loved one. They mean well and believe they are being helpful not realizing that they are hurting you even more. Otherwise, they would not say such cliche remarks.
Other people may avoid you all together. They are uncomfortable and don’t know how to act around you so they avoid you like the plague. How do we reconnect with people who have no idea what you are going through? Do you try to explain the pain you feel? Will they understand the depth of the pain if you do choose to explain your feelings?
Make a list of the people with whom you want to stay connected. Not everyone will stay in your life and that is okay. Some people were couple friends and now you would feel like a third wheel. Others were friends of your loved one. Some of your friends may drop way as they no longer know how to relate with you and the changes you have been through.
Reconnect with people when you are ready. Do not force yourself or allow others to force you to reconnect when you are not ready. You may only be ready for baby steps. In that case, reach out to others via email, social media or texting. Work your way up to longer, face to face contact.
At church, connect with those who have lost a loved one. They will be a comfort and support for you. If you church does not offer a support group, you may want to start one or look for one in your community.
Reconnecting to your beliefs and others will bring you the comfort and support you need this holiday season.
Maybe you have some ideas of how to reconnect. I would love it if you would share with us in the comments.
You are not alone, I am here to walk along side of you.
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